Jump to:
Letters from Parents
Letters from Teens

Letters from Professionals

Dear Scott,
I can't begin to thank you for speaking with the teenagers at the Juvenile Detention Center. Your ability to engage their attention and interest is a true gift. Your honesty and frankness was especially appreciated by them. It was quite obvious from their numerous questions that you piqued their curiosity about HIV. As you were talking, I was watching their faces and many were absolutely riveted. I also watched the teacher and counselors who were in attendance and they, too, were paying close attention. Hopefully, some of our teenagers will change their dangerous behaviors and attitudes towards themselves as a result of your talk. Thank you for thinking about us and taking your time to give to these children who are so troubled. Take care of yourself and please let us know when you are back in town and can spare some time for us.
Sincerely,
Andrea S. Barna, R.N.

Dear Scott:
Our class wanted to thank you for coming to share your story with us. We appreciated how you did not dance around the tough issues and brought HIV close to us. Your bravery and strength really inspired us. You dedicate every day to helping make life better for you and for others. Instead of sitting in a room of regret, you use your misfortune to help kids like us. Before we met, we thought we'd feel sorry for someone in your situation. But more than feel sorry for you, we admire you. Some of us have been asking our friends to tell themselves that they are sacred, just the way that you had us tell ourselves. And sometimes we still tell it to ourselves, especially when we really need to believe it. Thank you for everything you have given us. We hope you will stay healthy for a long time.
Love,
Central Synagogue 9th Graders

Dear Scott:
I hope when you receive this letter you will find yourself in the best of health and spirit. It was a privilege to bring you in to speak in front of our medical school students. The response was outstanding; both students and professors alike raved about your talk. Your upbeat and positive message about life, in spite of its many exacting difficulties, rang true for all of us. I wish you the best in this, as you call it, "sweet life!"
Fondly,
Susan Giordano
Program Coordinator

Dear Scott:
I am writing to thank you for sharing your story with us at LaFollette High School in Madison, Wisconsin. I was the sign language interpreter for the deaf students. Once again, HIV has a "face." I pray I never forget or take for granted this horrible disease, whether it's affecting someone close to me or not. Your message is powerful, painful, courageously given, solemnly received, dignified, and so, so real. They hear you Scott. We all hear you. In my many years of interpreting for deaf students, I have never seen such a large group so attentive and so moved. Thank you for taking the time to come here. It doesn't seem right that we should be so blessed, while you live with the threat of AIDS. So much greater then is the blessing of your presence in our lives.  I wish you an overwhelming amount of strength, courage and peace, and many big, bright, beautiful full moons.
With thanks and respect,
Dianne Hawkins

The children seemed to make a connection to you, your tone, your mannerisms and especially your openness and warmth. The result...a lobby filled with parents waiting for their children to leave - but the kids would not go. They ALL stayed to keep talking with you. It was an amazing sight to see. Education at its finest.
Jeri Newman
Chair, Religious School Committee
Temple Beth Torah, Upper Nyack, NY

 

Letters from Parents

Dear Scott,
Thank you for such a sincere talk today. your energy is palpable, even though you say you are exhausted after doing this for so many years! There are few people who can open themselves up the way that you do to a room full of Jewish mothers (sons, daughters and fathers too), and this Jewish mother was completely captivated. Your message to parents is ever so important and hearing it from you was really moving.

I hope you'll come  for a repeat performance in three years and again four years later, to speak to my other children! I wish you only good things.

Fondly,
T. Blumenthal, Nashville

 

Dear Scott,
From the bottom of my heart I thank you for a very beautiful evening of listening and learning. Two days later and I still feel a high from the magic that was in the air, the kind of magic that happens when truth gets told and hearts are opened and shared. We began with your story, which fundamentally, as you pointed out, is everyone's story. I am still absorbing all the loving wisdom you shared, and because of it, I am more in touch with the teenager I still am at 38 years old! Your words bring people together -- across cultures, religions, sexual orientations, and generations. My 14-year-old daughter is not different from who I was or who I still am, only in the particulars. We are both filled with contradictions. As a parent I want her to grow in love and feel empowered. I also want desperately to banish all pain from her life, and preserve the innocence in her developing psyche. The mixed message I send is "You are strong and you are also profoundly fragile. You have all you need to soar, but you're vulnerable to a bad fall."  She gets that, and hopefully, the more significant truth: She is precious. She is so magnificently beautiful, and I know she doesn't know that about herself. But I remember that I didn't either, and most of the time I still don't. Now I can relate to that part of her without having to make her trust what I have trouble trusting in myself. I can hold my loving awe of her in the most treasured and true place in my heart, and just be with her in her insecurity and in her struggle to reach out and to accept all that's within. I'm learning not to try to negate her feelings of inadequacy, nor to co-opt them. I'm letting it all be, and I'm being with and for her. I knew all this intellectually before Tuesday night happened. I just wasn't ready to integrate this understanding because it appears to fly in the face of the protective instinct of the mother I am. Your words helped me to break through that barrier because they were spoken in the spirit of absolute non-judgment, whereas unfortunately my self-reflections are unconstrained by such tolerance and acceptance.

Minutes before we arrived at the temple, we had a near-accident. Three deer ran out in front of my car and we missed hitting them by just fractions of an inch. My right arm flew out to grab at my daughter's jacket and stop her from being propelled toward the windshield. I knew she had her seat belt on as always, but I somehow think my arm will stop her where a federally sanctioned safety device can't. Likewise, all my strength of character goes into the care and nurturing of this person. When that seems not to be enough, when she still doesn't believe in herself, I feel I have failed. She still cannot bring herself to comprehend that all the popular cheerleader-types in the world sometimes feel just as alone as she does. All the affirmations, all the permission to accept herself that I can offer her cannot change these perceptions. My job now is not to try in vain to make her believe me, but to remain steadfastly a person who believes in her. I remind myself not to be in the business of fixing what breaks in her self-esteem, but to hear how broken it feels and put my kiss on it. She is my oldest child. She has a 12-year-old brother and a 7-year-old sister. I hope they someday get to hear you speak, and get to bear witness to such generosity and courageousness as you have shown in being so real. You are an extraordinarily beautiful human being, the likes of which this world can ill afford to lose, and I pray for your continued good health. I now do this every time I take my two little vitamins daily, and it goes out to everyone living with HIV or AIDS.

Our tradition teaches that all of the Torah exists only to make peace in the world, and in the Torah we are taught that our lives are *sacred*. I am grateful for your powerful reminder; for taking it out of mere text and putting it so eloquently and lovingly into context.

Warmest regards,
A loving Mom

 

 

Dear Scott,

While you journey back to New York, your resonance is still echoing inside our minds. Scott, you are simply an inspiration to life.  For those who are ready, you levitate and ensconce our souls. For those who are not, the seeds of possibility are planted. Do not ever relent. You are a holder of the tablets disseminating authenticity as most people try to scamper away from it. By courageously opening up yourself to strangers, you aid us in breaking down the walls and hiding places we live in. From there we can open ourselves to more truths in our lives. I look forward to reading your books. I can only hope that along the way of helping us, you arrive at your destination of inner peace.

Dear Scott,
I heard you last night when you came to speak to us, a group of teenagers and parents at a temple in New Jersey. I heard you and felt you as you revealed your inner life and lay it bare for us to know and enter into, if even for just that brief moment in time. And as I sat there listening, absorbing, inhaling your truths, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of your honesty and the sadness of your story. I wanted to jump in and change the course of your story so that it had a different outcome, without the pain and suffering you have had to endure as the price for seeking your happiness and your truth. And then I was struck by the awareness of how someone I barely knew could touch me so deeply. And I realized what a blessing you have made of your life, how you have taken your deepest, darkest secrets and brought them into the light, transforming them into a healing power for not just you, but for all those you encounter.

Your work is lifesaving and soul-enriching. Your enactment of your pill regimen spoke many more volumes than the well-meaning but often dreary lectures that define health education programs in schools everywhere. And your passion for life, for making connections and making yourself heard, makes those who meet you feel a little bit more known, somewhat more understood and perhaps a bit less lonely in the world.

Thank you for your awesome generosity, your passion, your beautiful soul. I get you. I will remember you. May you stay strong and healthy so that you can continue to savor life and touch as many souls as you can in the years to come. We need you to stay.

 

Dear Scott,

You spoke to two of my daughters on Sunday and sparked an amazing family discussion. I sat through your lecture on Monday night, silently weeping, feeling the sorrow and loneliness of the contradictions of my children. The details aren't important...but the emotions we all felt were real! I left feeling on top of the world! After your talk, I felt like I had permission to cry out loud and share in their happiness and feel their pain. I left feeling, "Wow, I AM a great parent!" All of the bullets you suggested we do, I do! The kids hang at my house; I am the adult they all ask their questions to; I tell all of them how much I care about them and they are "seen" when they enter our lives. I touch my girls with soft caresses. We laugh. We cry. We breathe! It is important to feel validated in life. Having recently moved back home to my birth city to be with my ailing father, to have heard your talk has given me the lift I really needed! Thank you for validating me and helping me see that I am not the only person in life who thinks this is the best way to parent! You have left a mark on our lives. Thank you for caring enough to have SEEN us!

Sincerely,
Sally, a parent in Minneapolis

 

Scott,

I needed to thank you so much for coming to our community. I have three teenagers (thanks for autographing their book!). We each felt if we could wish the impossible, we would love one to pour out our hearts and secrets to you. Your heart is sooooo amazing. What you said would happen has indeed happened. You have made their lives easier because you gave us the ability to really understand that there is a special space for mom's (I am single) and their teens. Miracles. Miracles. You said you wanted to make one happened tonight and you did! My girls have allowed into their "kingdoms" only because you opened the door for us at the same time. I want to thank you for the incredible performance you gave to the parents. Every word and gesture was not in vain. You are a magician and we all love you for sharing your pain and experiences and true caring with us and our kids. You are invaluable to this generation!

Love, Nina

 

Dear Scott,

I was in the audience last night with two of my four children. You moved me to tears. As a matter of fact, I couldn't stop crying the entire evening. Your story touched my heart. Your message to us pierced my soul and reached deep inside of where my own troubled teenaged, adolescent, and even adult lies. For some reason, your story and words brought so much to the surface. Like so many others, I never accepted myself, had nowhere to turn, had no arms to fall into. Your words so hit home. At this point in my life, I worry about my children who lost their father to suicide seven years ago. When I heard my son tell you that he prayed for you this summer, I was reaffirmed that his core intact. When I heard my daughter tell you that she prayed for your recovery every morning this summer, this also made me feel that she has her priorities intact as well. I can't bring their father back; I can't fix the broken situation; but I am going to follow your advice and make sure that they KNOW that I KNOW them and love them unconditionally, even if I am powerless to make their worlds perfect. YOU are not a sinner; YOU are a beautiful person. YOU are saving lives and therefore, I believe that YOU have a special place waiting for you (not for a long time, G-d willing) in the next world. May you be blessed.

A fond mom 

 

Letters from Teens

Dear Scott,
I am a teenager who lives in San Diego, CA and attended one of your lectures. I would just like to thank you for coming and speaking about your personal experiences with HIV.  I think that you are an amazing person, because you were infected with HIV and you learned from your mistakes, and even with your misfortunes, you are still happy with your life.  I dont know how you do it.  I used to cut myself, and I saw a therapist that I lied to, and nothing worked for me...except your talk.  I just wanted you to know that you helped one more desperate teenager on your quest to educate and help the teenagers of the world.  I think you are an amazing person, and I admire your courage and your love of life.  Thank you very much for talking about a hard subject.

 

 

Dear Scott:
You are going to have to bear with me because the words are coming faster than I can type as I try to express what happened to me while hearing you speak. I had no idea what to expect -- all I know now is that I am not quite the same girl I was when I walked into that room. I am not quite sure how to articulate how your words affected me. I felt like you somehow snuck into my head and gathered up all my thoughts and fears and needs and wishes and put them into words. I wanted so badly for you to look at me for at least a few seconds so that I could somehow transmit to you how I felt. The last thing I want to do is waste your time spilling out my heart to you but if I could just say one thing, it is that I am very scared. I am scared. I am scared that I am slowly slipping further away from the person I know that I am meant to be. I have dreams and I have goals and I am scared that they are unobtainable. Really. What makes me so special and so different from anyone else? I just wanted to let you know that while you probably don't remember me (I was sitting in the back with the parents) I will never forget you. Regardless of whether or not I hear you speak again, please Scott, please understand that you made a significant impact on my life, one that I will always remember, and keep with me in the dark times yet to come. Thank you for being the first person I have ever come across in my short life to truly get me.
-- Michelle, Age 17     Click here to read Scott's answer...
 

 

Hi Scott,
I'm pretty sure you don't remember me. When I was a freshman in high school, you were the speaker at a convention that I attended. That would have been 1998 or 1999, I think. Anyway, you were wonderful, moving and inspiring as I'm quite sure you always are. When I came home and told my mother about you, she wrote you a letter thanking you for how much you were doing. She was so happy to hear me talk so highly of you. Several months later, you wrote back to her, and we were both very happy to hear from you.  The reason that I'm emailing you now six years later is that I heard you were back in my region recently and you again touched many lives. A young friend of mine, who I used to baby-sit, is now a freshman in high school and when I was home from college for a visit in January, I had the delight of hearing her talk about you. It was wonderful to hear from her about how amazing you were, how important what you had to say was to her life, and really, just to see her starting to transform into a young adult. It was our first conversation that centered on more serious worries. She now has a friend who is cutting himself and her eyes are opened to some of the harder parts of life. She is starting to grow up and I just wanted to let you know that I remember and cherish having met you, and I cherish the fact that she also got to meet and know you at this incredible time in her life: between childhood and adulthood. I hope you are well.
-- Rachel

Scott:

When I was younger I was heavy. When I was in 7th grade, I didn't eat breakfast or lunch and I lost about 10 pounds, so I was down to about 95 pounds. At that point I was really happy with my body. I'm a cheerleader and I'm the flyer (the person who is at the top of the stunts). At the beginning of this year (9th grade) I was 98 pounds and still happy with my weight and my body. But throughout this year, I have gained 12 pounds, which puts my weight at 110.  I am not happy with my body. Tryouts are coming up in a few weeks and I'm really hoping that I will still be a flyer. The past week or so I haven't been eating lunch; I will have an ice tea and if I feel like it, I'll eat something small. I know I should not be doing this but I feel like I can control it. Also I am really self-conscious so I'm ok eating in front of my friends, but not a bunch of other people. I also feel like there is a lot of pressure on girls to look like the girls we see in the magazines or the pressure to "be popular". Yeah I see girls in the magazines and say I wish I looked like that -- but who doesn't? I don't feel like I have the pressure to "be popular" because I like my group of friends. But anyways, I just wanted to e-mail you and tell you my story because I remembered that you said that you don't judge people.
Thanks,
-- Janie, Age 16

 

Hey Scott,
You came and talked to a camp I worked at this summer.  I don't know if you are aware of it or not, or even if you remember me, but you changed my life.  You did a private discussion with all of the staff and gave us time to talk to you about personal issues. You said you would try to help us.  I brought up the issue that I was afraid of opening up to people and it's caused a lot of problems because I wanted to be close with people but I always had a problem opening up.  You told me that if I was able to open up and say all that in front of the group, then I was more courageous and open than I thought I was.  After you told me this I realized that in order to be close to people, I need to open up to them.  Ever since then I have been even better friends with everyone I worked with that summer. I have read your book and I agree with all the teens that write you.  I don't know...I just have always felt that my parents don't care about me.  They have never been able to prove to me that they love me. They can tell me all the time but I feel like I need them to prove it to me and they can't.  I don't know...I just hate being at home. I just am unsure of what to do about it. I was scared to email you because I didn't know if you would remember me.  I don't know if you still wear the string bracelet I made for you when you were at my camp.  I made you one, sort of as a "remember me" kind of thing. I hope you will write back because I don't have anyone else to turn to anymore.
Thanks for reading.
-- Ellen, Age 15

Dear Scott,
When you started talking about your difficulties as a student, I felt like you were talking about my life. I face the difficulty of my friends drinking and it makes me want to stop being their friend, but everybody in my grade drinks except me. I don't feel I fit in the world even though people don't seem to know this.
--Jose, Grade 8

Hey Scott.
I know how it feels to be alone. The only difference is that I feel alone because my father was always in war while I was little. Today I am closer to my dad, but just last Christmas my parents got divorced and a few days ago I found out the reason. I just want you to realize you have made friends with a lonely kid with a faraway father.
--Jamie, Grade 7

Hiya Scott
On my 12th birthday...this 15 year-old guy came up to me and hugged me. I don't know what happened but I felt like my heart was being crumbled so I pushed him away and watched him leave. Since then, not a day has gone by that I don't think about him. I found myself loving this kid. But I was too young too even be myself around him. He started talking s**t about me so I picked up scissors and started slicing my thigh. But nothing happened. So I fell into my bed and passed out. When I tried again, I picked up one of those eyebrow thingies are really sharp and I slit my arm over and over. I had 6 scratches. Days went by. I slit my thighs for I was scared my parents would see the scars. I spent the whole summer thinking about him. In 8th grade he kissed and never talked to me again. I cut myself in May. I don't remember why. I've been cutting myself for the tiniest reasons. I promised my new boyfriend that would stop and broke this promise. And then...I cut myself again for breaking this promise. Then I promised my friends and I broke that one too so I cut myself with the pencil sharpener blade. I keep contradicting myself. I just need someone to listen to me because it seems that no one really cares. And I know how you felt as a kid. And I tell you 'cause I admire you. And if I had the chance I would show that as messed up as I might sound, I love you. And I've felt numb for the past 3 years. Lately less because of my new boyfriend. Because I think I love him. But there's something always there on the other side of the mirror - encouraging me to slit. And I am getting help. And I am getting better. And I have talked to people. And I just want to say thank you for being there today and giving us all that talk. And I know I sound crazy but I will miss you.
--Lia

Dear Scott, I was going through a box at my parents' house and I came across the first poem I ever wrote. It was when I first heard you speak. You touched my life when I was going through a very difficult time commonly known as puberty. I'm thankful for the advice you had given then, and it has helped me to accomplish several things in my young adult life so far. I am getting ready to graduate from college. I wanted to thanks you for inspiring me to reach some of my goals and to keep going when I thought failure would consume me. It's taken a long time for me to really come into my own. I'm glad to say that I am so happy, and thank you that first spark.
--Alexis