Scott Fried . Newspaper Articles

EX "LIGHT" ACTOR
"GUIDING" KIDS TO AIDS AWARENESS

Filed by the Associated Press

An actor who played an HIV-infected character on the Guiding Light soap opera is using himself as Exhibit A when it comes to the dangers of unsafe sex.

Scott Fried, who played Bart Mesa on the CBS soap a few years ago, told students at the University of Maryland on Wednesday night that he contracted the AIDS-virus more than a decade ago.

"I got infected the first time I had unsafe sex," said Fried. The actor, who lives in New York, didn't flinch from warning the students about the dangers of unsafe sex. "If that scares you, good," he said of his diagnosis.

Teen speaker Visits Community

By Jane Muder, Chronicle Staff

"Are you your MySpace profile?" Scott Fried asked an audience of more than 100 teens and parents gathered at the Squirrel Hill Jewish Community Center.

Fried, an HIV-positive Jewish health educator and motivational speaker, was scheduled for five speaking engagements last week in Pittsburgh. During his JCC appearance, "Inhabiting the Invisible Kingdom," on Wednesday, Oct. 17, he engaged - and in some cases, enraged - his audience with themes of conquering fear, avoiding isolation, and practicing safer sex.

In 1987, Fried was infected with HIV. He recounted vividly the night he got infected through an unprotected sexual encounter.

He advised those gathered to learn from his mistakes: "You are [good] enough! I didn't know that, so I learned it the hard way - by getting infected with HIV."

In the question-and-answer session that followed, one parent expressed dismay that Fried appeared to advocate barrier prophylactics over abstinence.

Fried replied that abstinence was a valid method of safer sex - "the safest," he called it - but added, "That doesn't mean I expect or assume that's the road [teens are] going down right now."

In the days that followed, this topic - and others, such as teen violence and suicide, self-injury, drug abuse, and eating disorders - drew strongly opinionated feedback.

"I thought it was a good talk for the teens," said Dr. Andy Reibach, a physician and a Mt. Lebanon father of two, "but I was a little uncomfortable being in the room while they were getting it."

Beth Young, the director of teen education for the Agency for Jewish Learning, alerted parents beforehand that Fried's lectures might contain some controversial topics.

"Scott will talk about things that may be challenging or uncomfortable for you, as parents," Young wrote in an e-mail. "Despite how uncomfortable we may be with such topics, as adults who care deeply about the health and happiness of our Jewish teenagers, we must talk about these issues."

After the presentation, Young commented, "It's incredibly important within the Jewish community that we address the realities of Jewish life today. Scott [presents] a venue for talking about these realities, and he does it from a Jewish perspective."

Besides self-destructive behaviors, Fried addressed an issue increasingly disconcerting in a technology-heavy society: how teens use social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook to create false appearances, and in some cases, forgoing real-life interaction with peers.

"I do think that teens are, by nature, narcissistic, and I mean that in a sweet way," said Fried. "It is important for teachers/parents to teach them how to give."

Teens are encouraged to write to him. He has published some correspondences on his Web site, scottfried.com, and in his two teen-targeted books.

However, "I do not want to enable teens to believe in Internet therapy," he said, believing the Web to be a poor substitute for face-to-face interaction.

The speaker appeared the previous evening, Tuesday, Oct. 16, at Rodef Shalom Congregation. His three other scheduled speaking appearances were at the University of Pittsburgh, aimed at the campus' gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

Fried tailors each speech to his audience. At the JCC, he discussed reconciling his faith with his sexual orientation.

"Judaism is making lots of changes in terms of homosexuality," he said. "There are now ... Jews who are happy being Jewish - and gay.

"I'm still going to raise my kiddush cup on Friday nights - and be a gay man," he added.

Rabbi Michael Werbow of Beth Shalom Congregation enthusiastically endorsed Fried's appearance. "When I know he's in my town, I try to hear him," he said. "It's a kick in the pants."

And, that kick raised some controversy in the community last week. Midway through his lecture, Fried - perhaps anticipating the mixed reactions to follow - said, "I didn't invent MySpace, bulimia or self-abuse. I'm only reporting on it."

(Jane Muder can be reached at jmuder@pittchron.com.)

College Students Get a Dose of HIV Reality

Scott Fried stood in jeans and a long-sleeved denim shirt rolled to his elbows. The lecturer stunned more than 2000 students at the college's south campus auditorium by announcing "HIV is in this room right now." The hundreds of students solemnly glanced around the room. "You're looking at it," Fried continued. "We're all living with it; we have to find a way to embrace it so we don't turn our heads in fear." Since 1992, he has been traveling the world talking about AIDS and other life-challenging issues and told the students to care about themselves. "You have to say, 'I am worth more than this.' It's your life," Fried instructed. "No one can protect it better than you."

Fried ended the evening by showing a brief film containing photographs of friends who have died from AIDS, accompanied by a song he recorded for the occasion. He explained that the photos represented only a few of his 131 friends who have died from AIDS.

Sue Curry, a student and HIV peer educator, praised Fried's straightforward style. "I wasn't sure what to expect, but I think he was one of the best speakers I've ever heard. He's very blunt and honest and that's what we need." Many other students agreed. "He grabs people's attention," said Alex Scalar, 19, of Florida. "You can tell when a person is saying something from the heart. He gave me that little bit of strength I needed."

To Engage Teens - Love Them & Tell the Truth, Says AIDS Educator

Let's face it, teenagers and adults don't often see eye to eye and sometimes aren't even able to communicate with each other effectively. For counselors in HIV/AIDS prevention and education, these barriers can be life threatening. How can you better engage teens?

"Tell the whole truth, everything, and love them," says Scott Fried, AIDS educator and motivational speaker. "If I leave a presentation with young people and no one is talking about hope and love, I have failed. Who cares about medicine and viral loads if there is no hope?"

Fried begins his presentations by reading from the opening of his book about how he became infected at the age of 24 in 1987. He said depression and loneliness drove him to have sex with an older man who had HIV. "I thought that maybe one day he could love me," Fried says. "I think teens are having unsafe sex today because they can't say, "I have a life worth saving."

"Sacredness, the part of us searching to reclaim something inside that we think we've lost," says Fried, is how he wants teens to think of themselves. "There's no such thing as a perfect life," he teaches. "Everyone has something they have to learn to live with. Teenagers need someone to say, "I see you. I know you're hurting.' If they tell someone the risks and unsafe sexual choices they are making, they become visible through their accountability in another's presence and might begin to recognize the value of their days."

Fried gives some tips for reaching teenagers better:

Don't judge them.
Plant seeds to help them to come up with the answers themselves.
Keep them talking.
Bring in peer examples and role models.
Never use scare tactics.
Don't call them "a kid."

AIDS Speaker/Author Discusses Life

Scott Fried informed an Angell Hall auditorium filled with hundreds of people last night that if they were expecting to learn about AIDS, this was not the right lecture. Fried spoke to a room filled with mostly teenagers about the value of life and the sanctity of the soul.

"If you want to learn about life, stick around. This is the place to be," Fried said.

Fried has lectured in more than 50 cities in the United States and some other countries as well, speaking to people everywhere about the importance of valuing everyday life. He emphasized that although he is living with HIV, he does not believe he is more eager to be alive than any other individual.

"It takes a lot of courage to stay alive. It sometimes takes more courage to stay alive than to die," Fried said. He noted that he does not like to be referred to as a "victim" of AIDS. He prefers to focus on his life in the present.

"I am more concerned with what I can do with myself now. I encourage young people to do the same, to enjoy such things as the conversation with a friend in line at the movies and not to be so worried about deciding what they want to be when they grow up," Fried said.

Fried said he does not believe it is his business to tell teenagers not to engage in sexual activity. "I'm not the sex police. I just want to help people recognize what is sacred and holy about themselves," he said. "Sex is not just in the genitals. It's in head; it's in the heart."

Fried emphasized that teenagers should have sex for the right reasons and truly value intimacy. "Teens need to realize that true intimacy is learning about yourself in the presence of someone else."

He spoke candidly about his relationships with both males and females -- and the eventual realization of his homosexuality. "During high school, I didn't even know if I was straight or gay. All I wanted was a good SAT score." He said he was never concerned with contracting HIV. "In college," he continued, "I was an ordinary guy in a fraternity. At that time, I believed that AIDS was the disease of risk groups."

LSA junior Renee Safra, who helped to coordinate the event, first heard Fried speak when she was a sophomore in high school. "I walked out of the room feeling inspired, in awe and left in tears," Safra said. She said she was pleased with the number of people in attendance. "I wish, however, that Scott could touch everyone on this campus," she said.

LSA junior Brian Pappas said Fried's message can apply to anyone. "He stays on an equal level with the audience. He's very personable. You can tell that he really lives what he teaches," Pappas said.

"His presentation was inspiring," LSA junior Caitlin Klein said. She added that she found Fried's message touching. "The hardest part about what he says is actually putting things into action. It's easy to hear this stuff, but to really live every moment to its fullest is more of a challenge," Klein said.