Same miracle everyone else is waiting for: Someone to understand me, but not judge me.
What is your weapon?
I don't have one.
Whom do you miss the most?
My friends from my middle school, whom now have left me forever.
What are you scared of?
Having people disappointed in me.
What is your favorite memory?
I was in math class with my friend, and we just looked at each other and for no apparent reason burst out with uncontrollable laughter and we couldn't stop for at least 10 minutes straight (we started crying and our stomachs hurt!), but the teacher got mad so we had to stop. Everyone asked us what we were laughing about after class, but we couldn't answer them and burst out laughing again.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
Last time? There was never a first time.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
You can always do better than that.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
Hopefully, to help as many people as I can.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
Critiquing me on what I am doing wrong will not get me to change, but encouraging me to do what is right will.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Always. I feels like my stomach is empty and hollow, even if I've already eaten. My heart aches at its core, then the pain spreads to the outside. I can feel all my organs ache, like they shouldn't be there, and my breath gets short, like it's trying to stop.
Are you enough?
No. I don't think I am enough. I think there is more I can do with myself, there! is alwa ys more I can do to improve.
Maya
Age
17
Who Are You?
I am forever growing, and even though right now, I do know who I am, I know that I will change. I am an artist; I am a good listener, I am a wallflower. I love to watch what is going on; I love to understand the underlying thoughts, meanings.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I fell into Anthony J's. But he was/is bipolar, and we didn’t know, so he broke my heart. We have tried to talk, but it doesn’t work after time. He tried to block me out of his life, but when I really needed him, he was the only one that got it, that understood, and that knew how to calm me down.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Well, to find another one, but I’m too lazy and I have too many trust issues to start over. What I am really waiting for is for him to come back.. It’s lame I know, it’s so cliche, but that’s really it.
What is your weapon?
Understanding things, figuring out things before others do, even about themselves, before they want to admit it. It sucks because sometimes I get annoyed that they can’t realize these things, and I tell them. Ha
Whom do you miss the most?
Well, Anthony.
What are you scared of?
Having the same situation happen, without any warning; having someone abandon you.
What is your favorite memory?
Going to Idyllwild, CA Arts, a wonderful camp where I can be fully open most of the time. People there just seem to be accepting and wonderful.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
I have no idea. I wouldn’t know what to say back
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
bisexual, acceptance, know, wish, hate, rumors, appearance, different, enough, pot, love, hurt, change, help, and don’t take this too seriously but molested. Please don’t judge. I know you wont, but still. Thank you.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
I do not care about changing the masses. When I was younger I wanted to be an actress and help the world to be inspired, but as I grow, I want to understand how others perceive the world. When I was younger I thought that I saw everything different from them, and wondered why I can’t be the same, why is it so easy for them to put on that mask? I know that even if I only affect the people around me, they will be changed and affect the people around them, making a huge difference.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
I understand that it is difficult, but stop trying to control everything. Yes boundaries are important, but next year I’m gone - no boundaries. I need more freedom.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes of course, as there is in everyone, and it hurts. When there is a part missing, and you can still feel it for a millisecond, and feel like its still there, and then remember that its gone, it hurts. And I hate him for hurting me so badly, and worsening this trust issue that I have. That I have to understand someone and they can’t understand me.
Are you enough?
Even though I know it wasn’t my fault that things turned out the way they did, I still feel like it is, and no I’m not, because I’m not big enough to get over it. I cant let it go, and it really bothers me that after over a year, I still think about him every day.
lola
Age
15
Who Are You?
i am trying to figure out who i am.
Whose arms do you fall into?
my parents will be there for me in the end
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
i am waiting to miraculously figure out something i really enjoy doing. i am waiting to understand life.
What is your weapon?
my weapon is pretending i don't care when i do.
Whom do you miss the most?
i miss my old friends, who i can't talk to anymore, and my friends from camp that are fun and help me escape the worries i have.
What are you scared of?
i'm scared of being alone. i'm scared of going through life without a prpose, and dying feeling like it was all pointless.
What is your favorite memory?
my favorite memory is being at camp, and it was the last night. i was at a party with all my friends and we huddled together, and i felt important, and loved.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
I don't believe in God, but sometimes my deep thoughts can be like God talking to me, telling me that everything will be okay soon.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
loser, loner, "cute", little girl.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
im scared because i don't know yet
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
sometimes can you listen to me without telling stories about yourself. i know that's how you connect to me but sometimes i need to get my feelings out.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
the emptiness inside me is the times when i feel lonely and unloved.
Are you enough?
i want to be enough, but i don't feel like it sometimes, when old friends abandon me, or the boy i'm dating stops talking to me.
ashley
Age
13
Who Are You?
I am a very smart and outgoing individual. I am fun to be around and can always have a great time.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I fall into the arms of my family and friends. I also fall into my own arms.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
The miracle that I am waiting for is the miracle of healing. I would love it if everyone was healed from any bad situation they have been in and no longer have to feel the hurt. I am also waiting for world peace. I believe that if world peace happens, then the hurt will also go away.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
The last time God spoke to me was on Monday, May 19. I really needed a pencil to fix my hall pass and I was wondering where I could get a pencil before I got to homeroom, and then I saw a pencil on the ground as I walked down the steps.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
The words that I am holding onto in my pockets are many. I am holding the words kindness, peace, and happiness because you don’t hear those words too often. I would love to hear these words used more often, because then we would live in a happier society.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
I am going to leave a mark of understanding and thoughtfulness. I am very thoughtful and conscious of the environment and the world around me. I can also relate to many people and that is why I am understanding.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
I would give my parents a lot of advice. First, I would let them know that no matter what they do, I will always grow up, so they should let me sooner and let me be more independent so that I am ready for the real world when it comes to me. Secondly, I would tell them that it is my life and not theirs, so they should let me live it the way I want to live it. Lastly, I would tell them that a mistake is a mistake and that I will be making many mistakes and I will learn from them so they do not have to get on my back every time I make a mistake.
Su Wen
Age
15
Who Are You?
I am Su Wen.
Whose arms do you fall into?
Nobody.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Two suns to appear in the sky.
What is your weapon?
Nothing.
Whom do you miss the most?
Best friend in China.
What is your favorite memory?
middle school graduation party.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
You will be fine.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
Money.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
Listen to what I say and allow me have my own secrets and space to be more independent.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
It feels lonely.
Are you enough?
No. I’ve just begun
QuietGirl
Age
14
Who Are You?
I'm invisible most of the time.. but I choose to be. My dad is in jail and I’m not quite sure if I still love him. The only reason he was funny and a good guy was when he got high. Despite all the wrong he’s done I miss him so much. I cut myself to feel something, to cry because I just cant do it when I think of sad things.
Whose arms do you fall into?
My best friend in the whole world. She’s always there for me. I love her
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
My dad to come home, and be changed for the better
What is your weapon?
silence
Whom do you miss the most?
the old me..the lively me
What are you scared of?
a possible upcoming divorce
What is your favorite memory?
When I was little, my whole family used to take trips to Smugglers’ Notch, February vacation. But now we don’t do that
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
He spoke to me when he told me (through my self conscious) to tell my secret to the guy I liked. I know I can trust him now and I’m starting to like him a lot more =)
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
hate - denial - love - truth
What is going to be your mark on this life?
I want to be a writer
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
stop being so fucked up
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Its like being short of words.
Are you enough?
No.. I wish I were different, I wish I had different circumstances to face
Momoko
Age
14
Who Are You?
I wish I knew. I used to be so much. I used to be a cutter, a bulimic, a druggie, a goth, a straight, and a slut. But now, I'm not any of those things, I have no more classifications. It scares me a lot, I want to fit into a category.
Whose arms do you fall into?
Pocahontas’. No joke, I know you will think I'm just trying to be a smartass...but whenever I feel really down, I just sing "Colors of the Wind" in my head. Usually that makes everything much better. Sometimes it doesn't though. And my dreams, I fall into their arms. So many people are mean to me, it's all I have. Just stupid fantasies about the future.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
One miracle? Hmm... someone. A real best friend, or maybe a girlfriend or something. Someone who I could be completely open with, someone to hug, just really someone to love.
What is your weapon?
Dreams. It's all I have anymore. All of my best friends just decided that I'm a poser and they don't like me anymore. I'm very alone at the moment, so the only thing I have to keep myself alive are my dreams. Sometimes they are stupid...but I have to have them.
Whom do you miss the most?
Myself. I miss who I used to be. I wanna be sure of myself again, I wanna be pure. I want to be fully virginified. I wanna be the little girl again.
What are you scared of?
Getting hurt. So many people have betrayed me...I never want to tell anything to anyone anymore. Because after a while, I know they will get tired of me. I'm just horrible, I'm unable to be likable. I have temporary friends, who like me for a few weeks, and then come to their senses.
What is your favorite memory?
Being at the opera seeing "Barber of Seville". It was the best moment of my life. I was so blissful, watching those amazing singers. It was so sad when it ended.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
God called me a liar. Because I lied. But I deserved it. Rape isn't something to joke about.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. UGLY. STUPID. FAT. FAT. FAT. LIAR. UGLY. FAT. LIAR. UGLY. FAT. LIAR. UGLY. FAT. Liar is all I can describe myself as.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
My originality. My Japanese fashion. I'm gonna open a store on St. Marks place, with really obscure Japanese fashion. And I'm going to offer everyone who comes in a cup of tea. And I will sell cupcakes. And my girlfriend and I will wear pretty dresses all day and we will manage the shop.
Are you enough?
Sometimes, you just need to leave me alone.
Arielle
Age
15
Who Are You?
I don't exactly know yet, but I'm ok with that
Whose arms do you fall into?
my friends, my boyfriend, my parents, my sister, my brother, my family almost anyone if they are there and listening...
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
for people to stop thinking they're better than other people
What is your weapon?
dance, drawing, music, painting, anything creative that lets me express myself when I can't always with words
Whom do you miss the most?
my grandma, safta debbie - she's still alive but because of her illness she's lost some of herself and I miss that part of her, I miss running around and swimming with her, and dressing up with her and her telling me stories and doing my hair, but I couldn't be more thankful that she's still here with me today.
What are you scared of?
that people secretly don't like me
What is your favorite memory?
I have too many to pick just one, but I love every moment at camp. The people there are my family and my best friends, in every way possible and that's the place that I feel like I truly belong.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
I don't think I believe in God. Maybe one day he/she will speak to me and then I will...
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
I keep all the criticisms I've gotten in my back pocket, and in my front pocket I keep quotes and lyrics I want to remember and the ones that help me, like this one from American Beauty "it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life"
What is going to be your mark on this life?
I want to do something that people will remember me for, but not like how Britney Spears is remembered for not wearing underwear in public, but something that will help others and not necessarily community service or that kind of thing [only] but also through dance and art, something that people will feel connected to.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
to always be honest with me
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yeah, it sucks and it feels like no one understands how I feel and I can't even try to tell them because I can't even put it into words it feels like. I just wanna curl up in bed with tons of cozy blankets and pillows and sleep for a week without talking to anyone
Are you enough?
I am enough. why? why not.
Kara
Age
15
Who Are You?
I am a 15 year old girl...I am in 10th grade...I crave attention..i know that i make severe judgment errors to achieve this attention, but i can not help it
Whose arms do you fall into?
anyone that seems to be willing to catch me, i force myself to believe everything i hear
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
a boy to call me back..simple, but it would mean the world to me
What is your weapon?
im still experimenting trying to find one?
Whom do you miss the most?
everyone comes and goes eventually
What are you scared of?
saying no
What is your favorite memory?
my bat mitzvah by far!
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
i just started a Jewish school this year, and now I feel closer to Him than I ever did at public school
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
i switched schools due to a few incidents that no one seemed to let me forget...even my parents...
What is going to be your mark on this life?
i want to be an anchorwoman when i grow up!
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
never leave me alone, even when i tell you to
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
yes, it feels like a gap and only someone( a boy) can temporarily fill it up
Are you enough?
yes, i am a nice person, i do well in school, i am a good sister and friend and daughter
Scott
Age
15
Who Are You?
I am a decently shy, insecure guy who has a strong group of friends but isn't very good at branching out and talking with other people. I have my moments, but most of the time I am just awkward around some people. I am pretty comfortable with myself alone, but around other people i am sometimes annoying, mute, and sometimes I am kind of a douche.
Whose arms do you fall into?
Sometimes my mom's, most of the time my own. I should probably express myself better and more often.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
The day in which I can talk to everyone and not be nervous around most people. Higher self esteem, basically.
What are you scared of?
People. Mostly of the female sort.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
i'm an atheist.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
um.. fight the power?
Are you enough?
I guess. I mean, sometimes I kick a decent amount of ass.
Diego
Age
15
Who Are You?
I'm a teenager that goes to IHS high school and I'm 15 years old
Whose arms do you fall into?
In my parents - their names are Rosa and Jose they are the most important people in my life right now.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
The miracle that I'm waiting for is to be a soccer player and play in Barcelona.
What is your weapon?
I don't have any
Whom do you miss the most?
the one that i miss the most in my life is my grandmother.
What are you scared of?
I'm not scared of anything.
What is your favorite memory?
my favorite memory is when me and my team won the finals!
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
I don't know
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
I really don't have any.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
I have no idea.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
try to understand me and help me in the mistakes that I make.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
no
Are you enough?
no, because there are some things that i can't do and need help in.
marisa
Age
14
Who Are You?
i’m a young adult trying to find my way in this place called earth.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I always fall into my mother’s arms, and my most trustworthy friend.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
The miracle i am waiting for is a cure for all types of illnesses. Also for people to accept one another without holding back.
What is your weapon?
My weapon is my anger, aggression and most of all my words.
Whom do you miss the most?
I've been missing more than one particular person: Buddy, my lost dog and an old friend.
What are you scared of?
My biggest fear is death, also small enclosed spaces.
What is your favorite memory?
My favorite memory in the whole world would be when me and my mom went to Florida for a few days and we danced together to our song, "This one’s for the girls." I was so little but I’ll always remember it.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
I was a non-believer but from now on out I am one. He’s spoken to me with signs of new greatness in my life.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
the words i am holding on to are, simply, I love you.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
My mark in life is going to be for all to remember me for as I am... for me and only me!
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
My best advice to my father is to show me your love for me more often, give me my space and allow who and how I am. As goes for my mother, well she need to try to understand me a little more.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes, it’s a feeling of being alone. The feeling is unexplainable because I am still figuring out why it’s there.
Are you enough?
I am enough for myself, and only myself. I will never change for anyone, but myself.
Lola
Age
15
Who Are You?
To be honest I don't know who I am. From the outside I am seen as the girl who always has a smile on her face and always has a joke. I am known for being bubbly and energetic. But in the inside I don't know I am. I am confused and at times I feel lonely.
Whose arms do you fall into?
Whenever I am upset, I usually call my mom who doesn't live with me. But since she is suffering from depression, I can't call her because then I will just make her more upset. Whenever I am upset, I don't really have anyone to call. I mean I have a lot of friends I could call but I don't think any of them would really understand. Basically, I have no ones’ arms to fall into.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I don't really wait for miracles. I just hope that I can have a good future.
What is your weapon?
Lately my weapon is to write and play the guitar a lot, but sometimes I do drink. There was a point in my life where I suffered from an eating disorder because I felt like food was the only thing I could control. Sometimes I feel it coming back but I try to control myself.
Who do you miss the most?
The person I miss the most would have to be my mom. I used to live with her in Miami and one day everything changed. I opened the door to my house and my dad was there which was weird because he lived somewhere else. My life completely changed after that day. I had to move back to Puerto Rico, leave all my friends during the middle of the year and start from scratch at a new school. I was extremely close with my mom and now that I don't live with her its not the same so if I had to pick the person I miss the most it would have to be my mom.
What are you scared of?
The one thing I am so scared of is rejection. I am scared of being rejected by people. For example, I really like this guy right now and he is always flirting with me but I am afraid to tell him how I really feel because I am scared of getting hurt and rejected. I am scared of not having a successful life. I am scared of life itself.
What is your favorite memory?
It is hard to choose a favorite memory but if I had to it had to be just being silly with my friends. And all my family actually having fun without fighting.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
I don't remember the last time God spoke to me. He probably has tried and I haven't realized that He has tried.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
I want to make a difference. I want to be remembered for helping others, for making a difference. I want to be remembered for not being afraid to stand out. I want to be remembered for being me.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
I would just tell them to trust me. I have a mind of my own and sometimes we have to learn from our mistakes. I am not your typical teenager and I am not going to do any extremely stupid things. I have a brother and sister and I have witnessed them do a lot of stupid things.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes, there are times when I feel really empty. I feel lonely. All I want is somebody to listen without judging me. Someone who isn't fake or who will talk behind my back.
Are you enough?
I don't know if I am enough.
marisa
Age
14
Who Are You?
i am me. but finding myself in truer form.
Whose arms do you fall into?
my mother’s, and my best friends’
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
waiting for my mom to get on her feet. waiting for her dad to go away
What is your weapon?
my weapon is my words and how i abuse people with them
Who do you miss the most?
i currently am missing my friendship with allie
What are you scared of?
death & sex
What is your favorite memory?
too many to type. mostly with my mom
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
last time god spoke to me was in third grade and he said my nana will be okay.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
people to always remember me somehow
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
give me space and respect
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
not being loved enough by my dad feels unexplainable
Are you enough?
in my own opinion i am - in others opinions, i am not.
leah
Age
14
Who Are You?
This is a very difficult question. I am an independent person, smart, creative, outgoing, positive, strong, sensitive, funny, trustworthy, true, and so many more things. I guess I am just me.
Whose arms do you fall into?
My own arms. My family and my best friends’.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
For people to not judge others for who they are and what they believe. For there to be peace.
What is your weapon?
My words and my tears.
Who do you miss the most?
I miss both of my grandmoms and my cat Bingo. Also for my one of my friends: I miss her dad.
What are you scared of?
I am scared of dying, spiders and ants.
What is your favorite memory?
Being in 5th grade, swinging on the swings with my best friend, singing at the top of our lungs, not caring what people thought. Feeling like I was on top of the world.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
To me the last time God spoke to me was last week when he told me to stay strong when everything in my life was crashing down.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
My name carved into everyone’s mind and every object in some way.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
Just always believe in me, help me stay strong, and keep me positive.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes, my emptiness is when I feel down about myself. It feels hollow. But somehow the emptiness always fills up.
Are you enough?
To me I am enough. But to a lot of people in the world I am not even close to being enough.
Bari
Age
15
Who Are You?
I am a team player, I am a leader, I am a student, I am a friend, I am a daughter, I am a proud Jew.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I fall into the arms of whoever is willing to love me for who I am and not what I should be or who they want me to be.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I am waiting to be loved by that special someone and I am waiting for the rest of my life to begin.
What is your weapon?
What is your weapon?
My outgoing personality
Who do you miss the most?
I miss someone who used to be there for me whenever I needed and who has now faded into a world of his own.
What are you scared of?
Failure. Never being loved.
Are you enough?
I may not be the girl with the perfect body or with the best sense of style but I am enough for someone to appreciate me for who I am now and who I may become as I grow up.
Ben
Age
13
Who Are You?
An insecure male who doesn't know if he is straight or gay
Whose arms do you fall into?
Nobody’s
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Someone who understands me
What is your weapon?
Masturbation
Who do you miss the most?
Sister
What are you scared of?
Parents not accepting me for who I will become
Are you enough?
No, need more self-esteem
Angel
Age
14
Who Are You?
A male living in Brooklyn, NY.
Whose arms do you fall into?
Well, at this moment I didn’t fall into someone’s arms yet because I still have a life ahead of me. But hopefully I don’t fall into someone’s arms that won’t care for me as I would care if someone fell into mine.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Well, to graduate from high school and be able to move on. Also, in the future to find the person that I will spend with for my whole life.
What is your weapon?
At this point I don’t have any type of weapon. The reason why is because I test a lot of stuff out.
Who do you miss the most?
Who would I miss the most? I must say this is a good question. Well, I definitely will miss everybody who stands besides me, who always have been with me in the good and bad times, and I will miss those who truly show love to me.
What are you scared of?
That one day I start losing everybody who I care for and who cares for me. Also, I am scared that one day that I won’t be able to believe in myself.
Are you enough?
Well, I guess I am. The reason why is because I’m alwayz there for my friends, but also to random people. Also, because I believe that I could do anything to just accomplish want I want. For example, my mission is -to become a lawyer which I want to accomplish.
passang
Age
15
Who Are You?
I am a 15-year-old girl. I love to play basketball. I have a boyfriend who is always there for me.
Whose arms do you fall into?
My boyfriend’s
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Um..I don't really believe in any miracles but yet I just hope something incredible will happen someday to me - and it can be anything.
What is your weapon?
I really don't know - but to believe in myself.
Who do you miss the most?
My boyfriend.
What are you scared of?
I am scared of having HIV and before that, having sex.
Are you enough?
I think I am enough of myself but sometime I get this feeling that I am not but yet I use my weapon to believe I am myself.
Lilly
Age
14
Who Are You?
I don’t know who I am
Whose arms do you fall into?
I usually fall into my mom’s arms. I trust her so much
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I guess the only miracle I’m really waiting for is for everyone to accept everyone for who they are
What is your weapon?
I think my weapon is texting because every time I wanna say something I usually type it into my fone and don’t really talk it out
Who do you miss the most?
I miss my dad the most
What are you scared of?
I’m scared of dying
What is your favorite memory?
My favorite memory was when my dad still lived with us and we were a real family
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
My grandma passed away last week and I was really sad and God told me not to worry - that everything was going to be ok and that my grandma was watching over me and that she loved me
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
Just for them to trust me and know that if I make a mistake I’ll learn from it and I’ll always listen to them. Just when I want to do something for them to trust me and only if I’m really gonna screw up for them to talk to me firmly and sit me down and just talk to me
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes there is an emptiness. I feel like something in my life is missing and sometimes I even think that the thing that is missing is my dad!
Fidaa
Age
15
Who Are You?
I’m a girl who was born in Lebanon and now I live in the USA. I love to hang out with my friends and my family all the time. Most of the time when I’m bored I read stories on the Internet about teenagers with HIV.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I love to fall into my mom’s arms because I love it when she hugs me so much. I feel like I’m really loved by her. Sometimes when she hugs me I feel like I’m really special to her other than my sisters and my only one brother.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I have a lot of miracles that I would like to have happened. I want to live for a long time. I want people to live with peace not with war. I have a great life with my family and friends. I want to marry a guy who loves me so much that can’t let me go.
What is your weapon?
My weapon is studying, learning, being a good girl and mostly being smart in school so I can get a scholarship to go to collage and have a great job.
Who do you miss the most?
Well the most people that I miss lot are my cousins and friends in my country.
What are you scared of?
I’m scared of my dad. He is really hard on me. He likes me to be a good girl so he can be proud of me. He loves it when I get A’s on my report card. Sometimes when I don't he starts to say that I have to get it or else I won’t get what I want.
What is your favorite memory?
When I went to Niagara falls with my family and cousin to the American side. It was really fun. We had lots of fun playing, singing, dancing in front of a lot of people and went to eat in a beautiful restaurant.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
God speaks to me every single day telling me not to do bad things, respect my religion, follow the rules and listen to my parents.
What is going to be your mark on this life?
My mark is going to be having fun with my two little nieces. I love them a lot. From the time they were born they changed my life and even my family's life. Their names are Natalie and Julie. Sometimes I tell Natalie whatever I have inside my heart because I know that I can trust her. She is like my little sister. Julie is smaller than Natalie so the only thing I do with her is play with her - take her out to the park and let her have a lot of fun.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
I will like to give my parents some advice like try to let me go out with my friends a little more, to let them know that I’m a good girl and I won’t do anything bad.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yea, there is sometimes emptiness inside me and I feel really sad. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can’t forget it, or sometimes it can hurt that you need someone to help you out.
Are you enough?
Yeah I think I’m enough. I don't know why.
Natalie
Age
14
Who Are You?
I'm not sure anymore. I don't think I have found who I am yet. I will someday, hopefully, but now I'm having fun trying to define myself.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I try not to fall into anyone’s arms. I don't like relying on people. When I do need someone, I turn to myself because I know I'll always be here for myself. I'm never too sure about other people.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
The miracle I'm waiting for is for someone to understand me. Someone that doesn't question what I do and doesn't have a criticism for everything I say.
What is your weapon?
My weapon is my voice. When I get angry, I use my voice and words as a defense.
Who do you miss the most?
People from my past.
What are you scared of?
Letting someone hurt me.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yeah, there is an emptiness inside of my sometimes. It's as if a huge hole in my torso is ripped out. Inside the hole is a creature that crawls its way up my throat.
JDG
Age
14
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I am waiting for everyone to accept people who are "different". Whether it be the color of their skin, the race or ethnic group they come from, their religion, their love life or anything else. There is so much prejudice in the world spread by TV, music, and even religion. When no one cares about the differences between man and man, then the world will be at peace and we can all be brothers and sisters under God!
What are you scared of?
I am scared of what people take in the Bible as literal. When it says that, "A man shall not lay with a man like he would with a woman. If a man shall lay with a man they have committed an abomination. They are certainly to be put to death. Their blood is on their own hands." That is spreading the wrong teachings! The Bible is about being holy and being close to God, not killing those who are different! If we could all look past this then we could all live in peace.
E.J
Age
15
Who Are You?
Who am I? I'm not really sure. I am who I am, I guess. I don’t think anyone really knows what they are. That's why the world is full of surprises. Sometimes I feel like I am falling apart and I feel like no one. Then there are times when I feel like I’m on top of the world. People call me E.J, but I honestly don’t know who I really am.
Whose arms do you fall into?
When things suck, like really suck, I fall into my best friend's arms. She's always there for me. Well I thought so, until I realized all I really do is spill my guts to her. When my life gets messed up I drink a lot. My friend worries when he sees me drunk, but I don’t care; that’s how I deal. Someday I'll learn how to deal without damaging myself, but for now this is all I can do.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I wish things didn’t suck so much.
What is your weapon?
Alcohol, sometimes I feel like there’s no one else to go to.
Who do you miss the most?
I miss my old life before I messed up. I miss being a little kid.
What are you scared of?
I'm scared of the future, not having a prom date, I'm scared of sex, I really am. I'm scared that something will go wrong. I'm scared of being scared.
Are you enough?
I'm only enough sometimes. I am enough when I get a 90 on my math test. But I am not good enough when my parents get a call saying I am getting and F in math. There’s always something holding me back.
Rivka
Age
14
Who Are You?
People think I'm the life of the party, but that's only because guys try to get with me. They don't even know me as a person.
What is your weapon?
I argue everyone down. My friends can’t stand up to me if we're talking about politics and I can charm my teachers into giving me good grades.
Who do you miss the most?
I miss the little girl I used to be.
What are you scared of?
I'm scared that I'll die without having experienced everything and that I won't find someone who will love me for me, not for my looks.
Are you enough?
Despite all this, I think I am enough. I'm enough because I realize that I'm not perfect-nowhere close. I'm enough because though guys might not care about me other than my looks. My friends do and I can get through anything with their love.
Morgan
Age
15
Who Are You?
I'm the girl who weighs over 200 pounds but people say it's ok because I "wear the weight well." My parents don't think so. I'm the girl who's afraid that her popularity will go away if she says anything she fears about her weight. I'm also the girl who can keep a secret. Tell me anything and I'll listen. Tell me anything and I'll lock it up forever.
Whose arms do you fall into?
My best friend. I've known her since kindergarten. She tells me the secrets she wants me to know and I tell her mine. I'm never lonely when I'm talking to her.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Skinniness. And a perfect life.
What is your weapon?
My words, my intelligence, and my humor. You can't make fun of me if your laughing at my jokes. You can’t make fun of me when I'm smarter than you. Right?
Who do you miss the most?
I miss my grandpa when he could remember who I am. I miss my grandma who was fun and happy before my grandpa forgot who she is too.
What are you scared of?
Losing my friends and my old memories, and not being able to make new memories.
Are you enough?
I am enough because I say I'm enough. I am unique and strong and can handle what comes my way. I may not believe it at times, but when I do, it means I can always believe it when I need to. I might carry a few (a lot) of extra pounds but, you know what, it’s more for everyone else to love.
Ada
Age
15
Who Are You?
I am Jewish boy. I have a wonderful group of friends and family. I do love my life and appreciate it.
Whose arms do you fall into?
My best friend Katie.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I want my dream of owning a camp to come true.
What is your weapon?
My music. I have a huge music collection. I can just go into my own world and listen to it for hours.
Who do you miss the most?
My uncle Morty. He died and I regret not spending enough time with him.
What are you scared of?
Being alone.
Are you enough?
I am enough. I love my life. I have a great group of friends, a great family, a great job, a great girlfriend.
Losing Me
Age
15
Who Are You?
A good question but in itself a hard one to answer, who am I? Who do I want to be, or who do I stare into the mirror at every morning? I am myself, 15 years of age, an 'in-the-closet' bisexual and a confused teenager. I wish I could be the person people do special things for, the person people think about and the person that people depend on. In the eyes of others, I am seen as the funny friend who is always happy but that is a mask I hide behind. I am rarely happy and unfortunately have become so used to faking it that it's hard for me to tell where my real happiness lies. I am the best friend, sister and daughter who fakes who she is to simply be accepted by who she calls her friends and peers.
Whose arms do you fall into?
I don't fall into anyone’s arms. I never have been able to. No matter what, even when I try to open up to people, they will always say something that will make me cover up what I am really trying to say and all the reality will not come out of me. I fall into my own arms and like to think that I am independent and that I can cure all of my problems. I cannot see myself falling into anyone's arms that does not know my every thought. I guess you could say that I'm too afraid to fall into anyone's arms without having them let me go and let me fall by myself.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
Happiness. People get it so easily but I'm still waiting for the day that it happens to me. I have become incredible at pretending to be happy th
